It's Still Life

Tuesday, Explained by a Cat

The cat motions the old woman
to the armchair with one deliberate paw.

“Sit.
We need to talk …about Tuesday.”

She sits.
He leaps onto the armrest,
tail wrapped around his feet like a professor’s robe.

“Tuesday,” he begins,
“is not a day.
It is a concept.
A flawed concept.

Exhibit A: Monday has purpose.
It is universally hated.
A cat can respect that.

Exhibit B: Wednesday is hump day.
A strange name,
but it has topography.
Ambition.

But Tuesday?
Tuesday is… beige.
It is the middle child.
No one loathes it.
No one celebrates it.
It just… exists.
And that, old woman,
is unacceptable.”

She blinks.
“So… what do you propose?”

He leans in.
“We rename it.
‘Treats-day.’”
Or my personal favoUrite:
‘The Day the Can Opener Shines Brightest.’

We give it meaning.
We give it flavour.
We give it… sardines.”

He sits back, satisfied.
“You’re welcome.
Now—
about implementing it
starting this week…”