The Old Woman With No Cat

the cat looking at a pantry shelf filled with tins of French sardines

The Cat’s Vertical Oppression
(Or: Why the Good Stuff Is Always on the Top Shelf)

The cat stands before the pantry,
face like grievance,
gazing up at the top shelf
where the good sardines
gleam like a golden fleece.

“Explain,” he says,
“why the best fish
are always
out of reach.

Not impossible.
Not mythical.
Simply…
up there.

This is not accident.
This is architecture.
Oppression.”

The Old Woman sighs.
“It’s called storage, cat.
Not conspiracy.”

He flicks his tail.

“Then why are the mediocre sardines
at eye level,

but the lemony, olive-oiled
ones with the little red chilis —
up there.

Always up there.”

He glances at the crow
perched on the fridge,
pretending not to listen.

“Not you,” mutters the cat.
“Too flappy.
Too loud.
Too likely to eat the evidence.”

He turns back to the Old Woman.

“I propose reorganisation,
lowering of standards
— literally.

I am not asking for the moon,
just the shelf
below the moon.

The Old Woman reaches up,
pulls down a tin,
and places it on the counter.

The cat stares.
“…That’s the cheap stuff.”

She shrugs.
“It’s the closest one, cat.”

He closes his eyes,
breathes deeply,
and accepts his fate.

“The conspiracy continues,” he whispers.

The entire series is available to read here: The Old Woman With No Cat. Some images created with Midjourney; all writing is authentically my own original work.©Misky 2006-2026.

15 responses to “The Old Woman With No Cat”

  1. delightful music too. I was just about the right age to have run the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, me too 🏃‍♀️‍➡️

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Unstoppable youthful years. 🤗

      Liked by 2 people

  2. yes, the addition of the music clip was nice. This version of the Tears for Fears song, for me, is better than the original.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooh, sardines….
    But no. Not today for Luna! 🐈‍⬛

    Plus the wonderful, wonderful song, but for me also… the original one (defo).
    Pow! Back in my tiny flat (wow).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lovely how a song can do that!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I would love to know how the cat proposes to open the cans if they are relocated…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d like to know that too. 😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is just TOO GOOD! I send the links to this series to my friend who doesn’t blog, but has 2 cats!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How lovely, and thank you for spread the word, Cale.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome, Misky–my neighbor’s 2 cats are now my “nieces”, having accepted that I’m basically a good person, if crazy in an eye-rolling way!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Poor kitty! Mistress settles & cat pays. We need to take a page from the puss and desire more, yah?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Old Woman with no cat is still puzzling over how this cat has taken over her life. (grinning)

      Liked by 1 person

Your comments are always welcome