It's Still Life

The Cat’s Revenge: A Lesson in Chess
(Or: How to Knock Over a Kingdom in Four Moves)

The old woman sets the board with care,
each piece polished,
each square aligned like a promise.

“This is a game of strategy,” she says.
“Of patience… and grace.”

The cat observes from the throne of his favourite chair,
one eye open, tail-tip twitching like a conductor’s baton.
“I already see several flaws,” it murmurs.
“Starting with all of it.”

MOVE ONE:
The pawns are swiped,
not taken,
just… relocated.
One rolls under the sofa.
“That’s not a legal move,” she sighs.
The cat blinks.
“I am the law.”

MOVE TWO:
The knight is batted neatly
into the crow’s water dish.
The crow, offended,
retaliates by stealing the queen.
The cat isn’t bothered.
“She was overrated anyway.”

MOVE THREE:
The old woman attempts castling.
The cat attempts lying on all the important squares.
It wins.

MOVE FOUR (CHECKMATE):
With one deliberate, fluffy nudge,
the board flips.

Wood clatters.
A rook spins into the fireplace.

Silence.

“You see,” purrs the cat,
“You were playing chess.
I was playing gravity.

I believe I’ve won.”

It then curls into a perfect circle
on the empty board
and falls asleep,

smelling faintly of victory
and someone else’s tuna.