The Old Woman With No Cat

comic image old woman holding silver spoon with black cat looking at her

The Old Woman and the Haunted Slow Cooker

The slow cooker hums monkish chants at midnight—
a low, greasy dirge
that smells of Wednesdays
and possibly the 1520s.

The old woman pries it open:
inside, a stew that definitely contains:

Wormhole carrots
A whisper of “buy more sardines”
One pearl button (from a shirt she never owned)

The cat, not hers and she assumes will never be,
presses its ear to the lid:
“Yep. Un-seasoned afterlife. Haunted.”

The cat drops an anchovy into the pot
like a subpoena duces tecum.

And so the old woman does what any sane woman would:
She unplugs the appliance,
pours in a bottle of cheap merlot,
and shouts “BON APPÉTIT, DEMON.”

By dawn, the kitchen smells of:
redemption, garlic,
and catnip.


Some artwork is created using Midjourney AI, Imagery and poems/prose ©Misky 2006-2025.

16 responses to “The Old Woman With No Cat”

  1. Fabulous Misky. A good laugh thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always a pleasure, Brian.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Another lovely little slice of the old woman and that cat. I’m smiling, of course. I particularly like the last three lines… just perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you! ❤️🐈‍⬛

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Cheers, says the old woman. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. just as well black friday’s coming up, she can replace it 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The cooker not the cat!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The cooker and the cat, maybe! 🤣

        Like

    2. My can opener fell apart yesterday, so today I bought a new one on Amazon 50% off the original price. Bargain.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was looking for some baked beans the other week, all I could find was an old fashioned can, it then took me half an hour to find my can opener because I never use it any more!
        The beans were fine though.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Sometimes I struggle to open those pull-tab tins — have to ask Peder to wrestle with them.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I have to use my mouth. As in, I lift the ring-pull and use my teeth to lever the lid off. Uggh. But there are lots of things I use my teeth for now, it’s just one of those things. In theory there are gadgets to help, but something still needs to hold the can, and something else the ring pull, so gadgets don’t really solve the problem. For those old-fashioned cans, however, I have a battery-operated can opener. Somewhere!
            For you… might this help? https://brandshop.co.uk/shop/product/straame-7-in-1-jar-opener-1315215181648 There are lots similar to this on e.g. Amazon.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. The pull-tab: use the end (the bit you hold) as leverage. Slip it under the the tab, through the hole, and pull down on the scoop-spoon end.

              https://youtube.com/shorts/VsPxdSOpzp8?si=TlhUmE9FItZjPmfE

              Liked by 1 person

  4. Now that all the leaves have fallen & soup season is swinging into action, I’ll need to pick up a decisive bottle of merlot and pop it open. One for the cook, one for the kettle, and none for the cat! Thanks for the tip on renewal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Soup; chilli; last night was chicken stew with dumplings; pasta with a butter and miso sauce tonight. It’s time for comfort food.!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a reply to Misky Cancel reply