It's Still Life

The Old Woman Adopts a Shoplifting Seagull
(or legal ambiguities in avian acquisition)

the seagull crash-lands
on the old woman’s porch,
a half-eaten baguette clamped in its beak,
and a co-op receipt trailing from one foot.

“it’s not stealing,” explains the crow,
“it’s wealth redistribution.”

the cat (still not hers, but always judgey)
flicks a biscuit crumb at the bird:
“that’s a baguette,
and this is not a breadline—
qu’ils mangent de la brioche.”

the seagull, unrepentant,
drops its haul:
— one (1) novelty World’s Best Grandpa mug
— a pack of gum
— and a single, defiant shrimp

the old woman sighs.
“grandpa, eh?”
she fills the mug with milk
and toasts the gull:
“to foraging.”

the ghost-robin, perched atop the fridge,
mutters:
“in my day,
we called it scrumping.”