20.04: The Old Woman With No Cat

cartoon drawing of a cat in a garden of flowers with a speech bubble reading "The Old Woman Without a Cat"

The Old Woman and the Scholarly Cat

(or, No Matter How You Deny It, The Universe Gives You Cats)


[I. THE DENIAL]

the old woman
with no cat
shakes her shiny spade
at the neighbour’s tabby—

“I have no cat!
I want no cat!”

the cat,
entirely unbothered,
stretches across
the Lesser Periwinkle
like a poet
reclining on laurels,

blinks slowly—
then quotes The Odyssey
(translated, of course—
he may be a scholar,
but he’s not pretentious):

“Of all creatures
that breathe and move,
none is more insufferable
than man,”

—then licks his paw
and adds,

“Homer obviously
never met you.”


[II. THE IRONY]

the worm,
still pressed against
eternity’s gate,
sighs:

“You have a cat.
You just don’t
feed it.”

the crow
drops another beetle—
(the interest
on his earlier loan)—
and mutters,

“She’s the sort
who’d deny the sky
if it licked her
on the nose.”


[III. THE PROPHECY]

the teacup shard,
now wedged in the fence
like an ear
where all the unsung poems
nest,
whispers:

“One day,
she’ll trip over
her own No,
and the cat will catch her
by the scruff
of her stubbornness.”

the old woman,
hearing none of this,
yells at the robin:

“And YOU—
stop looking at me
like I’m late
with your rent!”


Some artwork is created using Midjourney AI, and is identified as such in the ALT text or captioned. Images are copyright and not to used without permission, which I willingly give when asked, and when not for commercial use. Imagery and poems/prose ©Misky 2006-2025.

14 responses to “20.04: The Old Woman With No Cat”

    1. Wow wow. By all the gods — WOW!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. …and another wow too!!

          Liked by 1 person

  1. 👏. Ah, I’m with you totally on the denial, … & cats, …strewth, I’ve tried all sorts of offputting smells, to stop a neighbourhood cat from placing its ‘load’ near my back gate, (the Internet told me they hated the smell of Lavender, so Lavender oil purchased, spread copiously, ..does it work, by heck not ) … so, onto next experiment, …. 💫🐈💫

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I once read that if you sprinkle cayenne pepper in the pots, that the cats will leave them alone after they start cleaning their paws … although I question if a cat remembers where exactly they came in contact with the cayenne pepper. Anyway, the foxes rather liked it, and they took to pooping in my potted geraniums. So I poked branches from my climbing roses into the pots, and though hard to believe, but it’s true … the foxes pulled up the rose branches, threw them on lawn, and pooped in my potted geraniums.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh so Sorry, …😂… now I’m laughing, …but flips sake, …these animals are beyond belief. …mind you, my Border Collie used to find Fox Poo and treated it like Chanel no5, …strewth, walking home with her was a nightmare, the smell and look of the matted long hair actually made me almost puke, and washing it out? Urrrrgh!!! But I miss her, …My Bess, …Ahhh the perfumed memories, …💫

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  2. Just a ‘meow’ first. Okay. I often use cayenne pepper to make sure those pesky squirrels are kept out in our roof. Very important!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please tell me it worked. I want to hear someone with firsthand experience say this works (not someone’s great-great-great who survived the Battle of Flodden and I have to take their word for it). The fox returned last night with 2 cubs. The mum is teaching them where and how to poop in my pots now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Easy solution: get a Rottweiler.
        They are exceptionally effective with cats.
        For example:

        Liked by 2 people

        1. 😂 My robin (the bird) … (and my sister) are more fearsome! Heck, my postman is more fearsome.

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        2. Just like our Luna (not)!

          Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow, that great! (Aww)

        Liked by 1 person

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