Glo/NaPoWriMo: Day 1

WikiArt, The Fall of Phaeton by Michelangelo (1533, Rome)
WikiArt, The Fall of Phaeton by Michelangelo (1533, Rome)
WikiArt, The Fall of Phaeton by Michelangelo (1533, Rome) public domain.

Written as prose:

The Fall

When old women fall, they lose their voice. Their legs go funny angles, all catawampus like Bambi on that frozen lake. And when they call for help, their voice shrinks, an echo in their porous bones, a wobble sound that no one hears . . . . . h.h.h.help. And I swear that’s exactly how it was.


Written as verse:

The Fall

When old women fall,
they lose their voice.

Their legs go funny angles,
all catawampus like Bambi
on that frozen lake.

And when they call for help,
their voice shrinks, an echo
in their porous bones,

a wobble sound that no one hears
. . . . . h.h.h.help.

And I swear
that’s exactly how it was.


Written for(Global/National Poem Writing Month) aka: Glo/NaPoWriMo Day 1 (a story about the body. The poem should contain an encounter between two people, some spoken language, and at least one crisp visual image), and Writers Digest, PA: Letter F, Day 1, A word using the letter F. Image is from WikiArt, The Fall of Phaeton by Michelangelo (1533, Rome), public domain. ©Misky 2022 Shared with #amwriting #glopowrimo #napowrimo on Twitter

18 responses to “Glo/NaPoWriMo: Day 1”

  1. This is powerful on all sorts of levels. There are so many great lines in this short poem it seems mean singling one out, but my favourite is ‘their voice shrinks, an echo in their porous bones.’ Well done, Misky 👏👏👏

    Like

    1. Thank you, Hobbo.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I was going to call that line out too. That followed by describing the cry for help as a wobble just made it so vivid. But yes, every line of this poem is grabbing.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Absolutely! 👍

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Everything Hobbo said! A deeply disturbing (in the best sense of poetry being disturbing) poem. And I loved that same line and I also loved the inclusion of “catawampus”.

    Like

    1. I wish that catawampus was in my frontal-lobe vocabulary, but it isn’t one that I’d use without thinking about it. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, we better ALL watch our step, eh? Welcome to April, Misky. See you around.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. See you.

      Like

  4. In that last line you brought it home. And you made me smile, knowingly. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    1. Thanks for reading it, Selma.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This came up as a more from Misky in the app and it is interesting to read as both prose and poem. When I started in a writing group some months ago, I began with prose and when I tried poetry form, I struggled to accept that they were poems without rhyme, metre or specific form. Then I remembered the book Archy and Mehitabel about a Free verse poet reincarnated as a cockroach in a newspaper office who communicates with the editor by jumping on the typewriter keys. So I am happy with free verse and I am finding ways to increase the poetic, repetition of words and phrases, oblique rhymes, consonance, assonance etc. But this works both ways and is a great response to the prompt…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have Archy and Mehitabel in my book shelf. It’s dog-eared and well loved. I absolutely adore it. And your description of free verse illustrates that there’s nothing “free-wheeling” about free verse. It’s repetition, phrasing, oblique, near rhymes, consonance, and assonance, and offering the opportunity for hyper-descriptive words that clipped rhythms can’t offer. Good morning, my poetic friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Misky – you may know the exercise sometimes given to new psychology students at their very first meeting when they are instructed to wordlessly circulate a d pick a partner to work with. When everyone is paired off, theh may introduce themselves and amazingly,all the orphans, firstborn, children of divorced parents, single parents, etc. Will all have found each other. Our growing friendship has been far from wordless but there is so much in common that was never spoken of, like fermenting! And now Archy and Mehitabel! Whatever next?
        Andrew xx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I haven’t heard about this exercise, but it’s intriguing. What is the reasoning behind this? As to Whatever next – time will tell, Andrew.

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          1. Indeed! The exercise is to demonstrate how much is conveyed non-verbally, unconsciously

            Liked by 1 person

            1. It’s absolutely extraordinary. This is going to rattle around in my head for some time to come.

              Liked by 1 person

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