Coming, going, the waterbirds
don’t leave a trace (Dōgen Zenji)
A Smear
Black jackdaw
leaves its mark on the fog.
Walking on a hobble.
Left. Right. Hop.
It takes flight, and
smears black across white.
The fog’s left standing, bereft
of its shadow.
written for dVerse “Off the Sidewalk” – image by Pieter Bruegel the Elder “The Hunters in the Snow”, c. 1565 © Misky 2020
Great economy here – these few brushstrokes and I can see the bird, it’s gait and the fog’s regret. Just lovely.
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Thanks, Peter.
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Minimalistic masterwork, Misky.
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I’m glad you liked reading it.
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Stark and sharp lines, haunting imagery of black and white.
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Thank you, Grace.
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This is incredibly deep and profound, Misky! 💝💝💝
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Thanks! ☺️
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Wow, strong and spare. Excellent Misky.
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Thanks, Rob.
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This is quite haunting imagery, especially in the final lines. I gasped. I also loved this verse the most:
“Black jackdaw
leaves its mark on the fog.”
Something about it captivates me, perhaps it’s the imagery which you masterfully do so well. Another beautiful and brilliant poem. This is thought-provoking.
You are very welcome, Misky 🙂
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Thank you!
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I admire the way you describe a familiar image and make it new and startling, Marilyn. The simple title and opening lines already conjure the bird in my mind – and then you shake me up with ‘Walking on a hobble. / Left. Right. Hop.’ It makes me smile. And the final line is just perfect – as Lisa said, like Japanese calligraphy..
Wow: such a precise use of so few words to create something stunning. Love what you’ve done with the prompt! The perfect image to accompany your words, too.
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Thanks so much!
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Such beauty in so few words. I can see this and it makes me smile.
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Thanks, Lillian.
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You skillfully conveyed much with few words. Bravo
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Thank you!
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Such a vivid image from so few words! Well done.
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I’m delighted your like it.
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The fog’s left standing, bereft
of its shadow…. howdy Bob, that is good!!!
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🥰 Thanks!
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I really enjoyed the brevity, works beautifully with the line you chose.
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Thank you, Helen.
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