Tag: surreal poetry
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30 May: The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman Adopts a Shoplifting Seagull(or legal ambiguities in avian acquisition) the seagull crash-landson the old woman’s porch,a half-eaten baguette clamped in its beak,and a co-op receipt trailing from one foot. “it’s not stealing,” explains the crow,“it’s wealth redistribution.” the cat (still not hers, but always judgey)flicks a biscuit crumb at the bird:“that’s a…
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29 May: The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman’s Aural Misadventure the hearing aid screeches—a tea kettle of sonic absurdity.“did you say Qatar?” the old woman barksat the neighbour’s garage band, “because The Thrill Is Goneis not what you’re playing.” the cat (now an audio technician)flicks an ear toward the amplifier’s wail:“diagnosis: feedback or CIA broadcast.prescription: more cowbell.” the crow drops…
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28 May: The Old Woman With No Cat
Part 2: The Cat Explains Shorting Futures to the Old Woman the cat—still not hers,and never will be—strikes a dow-er poseand explains shorting. “you borrow a tuna can today (worth 10),sell it immediately,then wait for the price to crash to 5.you buy back the same can for 5,return it to the lender,and pocket the difference.”…
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27 May: The Old Woman With No Cat
Part 1: The Old Woman and the Cost of Living Crisis the cat stares at its empty bowl,then at the old woman,then at the shrivelling pile of kibbleshe dares to call “dinner.” “it’s economics,” she sighs.“everything costs more now—even regret.” the cat, unimpressed,slides a crumpled grocery receipt her way: explain this.item #4: tuna, premium –…
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25.05: The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman’s Unsupervised Sunday Morning Rebellion the sun, unchaperoned,paints the kitchen gold with anarchy,but still, the old woman sleeps past dawn—a heresy the cat would have punished,had it not been next doorknocking over someone else’s teacups. Afternoon Culinary Experiment the old woman throws something soupy in a pot: “Recipe for Whatever’s Left.”3 carrots with…
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22.05: The Old Woman With No Cat
A Tenderness for Lost Things the old woman with no catsweeps the loft. she hums to broken spectacles,buttons without coats,spoons that remember mouthsnow gone. there’s a box of keyswith no ambition left—just quiet, rusted loyaltyto doors that no longer exist. she crochets warmtharound fractured teacups.she stitches silenceinto the hem of a baby’s sockfound behind the…
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21 May: The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman and the Suspiciously Quiet Cash Register the cash register hasn’t made a cha-ching in three days. not a beep. not a rattle. just—the silence of a thousand unpaid invoices. the old woman leans in, whispers:“you owe me.”the register exhales a single, sad receipt:error: charisma not found. the cat (now a forensic accountant)paws…
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18.05: The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman Considers the Weight of Absence the old woman with no cathas no cat to call her own,but her neighbour’s cathas claimed her as its own. she watches the cat and feelsthe weight of absence,and how it settles quietin the hollow of a room. the old woman remembersthe heft of a living thing,…
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17.05 The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman & the Cat Apply for the Code-Breaker Job the interview:the co-op manager scans the old woman’s résumé:“deciphered the neighbour’s wifi password?”“cracked the meaning of the crow’s suspicious silences?”she shrugs.“semiotics is practically cryptography.”the cat, meanwhile, presents a grease-stained napkin.“this is a one-time pad.”(the napkin reads: buy tuna or else.) the test:the manager slides…
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The Old Woman With No Cat
The Old Woman Arrives Fashionably Late to Her Exorcism the ghost taps its foot.“you were supposed to be here at midnight.” the old woman checks her watch—a thrift-store relic,its hands permanently stuck at almost. “traffic,” she lies. the neighbour’s cat (her ride-or-die)hisses at the holy water font,then knocks it over. for fun. the priest sighs.…
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