It's Still Life

The Old Woman’s Weather

cartoon drawing of a woman jumping for joy as sun beams hit the solar panels and make electricity.

The Colour of Nowhere

64% equal 95 miles says my car’s navigator.
should be double that distance.
plus battery drain of 7% per week

the fix: recalibrate the battery, we’re told.

so we drive.
to nowhere.
just drive —

until the battery
reaches 15- 20%.

after just a few miles: battery is 30%.

we need to turn around and head home, I say.
he’s nonnegotiable — it’s fine.
we keep driving.

we pass cars with drivers
staring straight ahead.
I stare at thick-woolled sheep,
bare-knuckled fields,
wheat stubble,

church steeples too far away
to hear their bells ringing out prayers.

I keep my eyes away from the battery gauge.

damn.
25%

I’m not going to be stuck on the fucking motorway with no turn-outs and no emergency shoulder because you trusted a battery that doesn’t do numbers.

turn around — now.

so we do.

19% and we’re only half way home.
the car panics.
reroutes us into McDonald’s carpark.
it has a charging station.

and a drive-thru.
“Are you hungry,” he asks.
no. I’ve lost my appetite and love
for this car.

we top up to 36%. it’s plenty he says,
and we drive 8 miles,
arrive home with 12% reserve.

It’s charging to 100% now.
in the garage.

Leave it for 24-hrs
so the battery can recalibrate the cell capacity.

I don’t trust this car anymore.

(ps: car’s getting a software patch and relearning its numbers)

— from The Old Woman’s Weather

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Misky

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6 responses to “The Old Woman’s Weather”

  1. Chris Hall avatar
    Chris Hall

    Blimey! (fab song though)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Misky avatar
      Misky

      It’s a great song, isn’t it? I hadn’t heard it for a long time.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Frank Hubeny avatar
    Frank Hubeny

    I don’t trust all electric cars, but I think they will improve with better batteries, and then, who knows?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Misky avatar
      Misky

      This was a software issue; battery management software that confused itself. The battery was actually at 89% but the software thought otherwise. This particular car has driven from SE England to the north of Denmark without one hiccup. It looks like it’s all sorted now. We usually get about 295 miles on one charge.

      We have two, and the another EV is flawless.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. clark avatar
    clark

    I identify with the idea of losing confidence in one’s conveyance (or did, in the past when cars I drove were not always the car of choice)… that’s stress

    and.. not for nothin’ but jeez louise! even when writing a Consumer Check (on EVs) you’re throwing poetry around like saltines in a food fight, e.g.

    bare-knuckled fields,
    wheat stubble,
    church steeples too far away
    to hear their bells ringing out prayers

    damn! save a little of evocatoria for the rest of us, aiight?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Misky avatar
      Misky

      As I was telling Frank, it was a darned software issue. The battery is fine; it was actually nearly full, but the battery management system is constantly shuffling energy around in the cells, and relearning capacity. It suddenly lost track and couldn’t figure out where its abacus was.

      Yes, (grinning) sometimes I can’t find the bleedin’ off button for the poetry.

      Like

      Reply

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