It's Still Life

A Trilogy of Feline Digital Disasters (Because cats—love chaos)

I. TUTORIAL HELL
Scene: The cat is perched in front of a laptop, watching “Crunchy Tuna Unboxing” videos.

CAT (squinting) “This is research.”
OLD WOMAN “It’s been six hours.”
CAT “Silence, woman. I’m cultivating my aesthetic.”

(Off-screen, the crow livestreams the whole affair.)

CROW (voiceover)
“Day 1: ‘Artist’ has forgotten knitting. Only whisker twitches and muttered vows remain.”

II. THE FIRST UPLOAD
Scene: The cat, surrounded by tangled yarn, hits “Publish.”

VIDEO TITLE
EP 1: Knitting With Rage (And No Thumbs)
THUMBNAIL
The cat mid-snarl, wrapped in what might once have been a scarf.
VIEWS
3 (The robin, the crow, and a suspicious bot named SardineFan99)

TOP COMMENT
“ur ‘scarf’ looks like a crime scene.” – ActuallyACatLOL
CAT’S REPLY
“BLOCKED. REPORTED. I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP.”

III. THE OLD WOMAN’S REVENGE
Scene: Midnight. The cat tries to log in. An email pings.

EMAIL
Subject: Password Reset
“Adm1n h4s 0verr1dden uR aRt.”
NEW PASSWORD
GiveMeBackMyGoodYarn
CAT
(yowls at 3 a.m., waking the neighbour’s dreams)

FALLOUT
– The crow launches a GoFundMe for the cat.
– The robin knits a tiny protest sign: Free the Fibre Artist Formerly Known
– The old woman changes the WiFi password to: NoFish4U