
The Old Woman & the Cat Apply for the Code-Breaker Job
the interview:
the co-op manager scans the old woman’s résumé:
“deciphered the neighbour’s wifi password?”
“cracked the meaning of the crow’s suspicious silences?”
she shrugs.
“semiotics is practically cryptography.”
the cat, meanwhile, presents a grease-stained napkin.
“this is a one-time pad.”
(the napkin reads: buy tuna or else.)
the test:
the manager slides over a cipher: 5-21-19-20-1-12-11
the old woman squints:
“eustace? no—ustake?
wait, is this a crossword or a war crime?”
the cat bats the page off the desk,
then spells meow in morse code with its tail.
the crow, spectating from the snack aisle,
drops a stolen employee handbook:
chapter 12:
how to fire a cat.
good luck.
the verdict:
they’re both hired—
but only because the co-op’s actual code
is the manager’s grocery list
written in very poor french.
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