Day 5: NaPoWriMo 2021

The View

I was in a black ooze mood the day
I painted that colour in this room.
Last year’s peril turned the walls
a sooty colour of cognac and coffee.
It casts a mood that obscures
views of my neighbour’s rose garden.

Never mind yellow rose innuendoes,
everyone’s always home over there,
and ignore the purple periwinkle
that scampers wild like lost veins.
Her roses are ceremonious.

But my neighbour’s a martyr to every
storm, scant scent of rain, and wind-
beaten grace. That’s just not my way.


Alternative Version:

The View

I was in a black ooze mood the day
I painted that colour in this room.

Last year’s peril did up the walls in
a sooty colour of cognac and coffee,
and it casts a mood that obscures
views of my neighbour’s rose garden.

I ignore the purple periwinkle
that threads wild like lost veins.
It’s her roses. They’re ceremonious.

.

But my neighbour’s a martyr to every
storm, scant scent of rain, and wind-
beaten grace. That’s just not my way.

Written for Miz Quickly’s Day 5 “Obstacles” and PA’s “Special” Photo by Daniel Jerez on Unsplash. ©Misky 2021 Shared with #apoemaday on Twitter

10 responses to “Day 5: NaPoWriMo 2021”

  1. Oooo
    You KNOW I love everything about this one Misky; everything from the black moody ooze opening to the closing rain, no matter how scant the scent. Write on, Sisiter!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you cut the peri/lost veins, hang on to it. There is something really interesting in the idea. Plus visual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll keep it aside in my collection of lines. The paragraph just seems like a spare digit on a hand that’s not needed.

      Like

  3. Yes, such fabulous imagery and such a strong mood created. But I like the second version better. It runs more smoothly. But that line about the periwinkles is fabulous so do save it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Saved! It has its own stanza now, but it’s in my drafts folder. 👍🏻

      Liked by 2 people

      1. i am writing all drafts these last 3 days. It’s like papier mache without any glue.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Everything I post is a draft. Some I tweak for submissions; some I don’t bother. Sometimes I cannibalise good lines for future use. 😂

          Liked by 2 people

          1. absolutely. 🙂 perhaps all poems are drafts to the author

            Liked by 1 person

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