The Approach
The barn door’s open to
birds singing,
and he comes into view,
born out of smooth fog.
The floor’s a chill.
His damp stirs. Rips
the fog, lifts from his heat.
He’s a virus. A panic.
I felt old enough.
I’d just turned twenty.
for dVerse Quadrille #99 and Wordle Words #446: smooth, twenty, sing, view, enough, old, virus, panic, blessings, floor, rip, lift ©️ Misky 2020
It's Still Life 
25 responses to “Quadrille #99 and Wordle”
There’s a sense that this encounter didn’t go exactly as it was supposed to. A lot left between the lines.
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Appropriate, since that’s the name of this blog. 🙂
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🙂 Subliminal.
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This is chilling… wonder what will happen…
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One should never give too much information …
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Now, this is either a good thing or a bad thing…I’m still trying to decide :). Great tension here.
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It’s complete fiction, so it’s up to you to decide.
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Good description of the cold, damp encounter with a virus that can happen at any age.
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“born out of smooth fog”
That is so cool.
Also these:
“His damp stirs.”
“He’s a virus. A panic.”
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Thanks.
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I really went for the metaphor, and “he” was a young studly stranger. That really raised the intensity for me.
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Oh, my. Astonishingly pithy piece for having included so many prescribed words, Misky. Love the staccato feel of the lines. And this: “he comes into view,
born out of smooth fog”
That right there is why I think you should also write a novel.
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So good this. I particularly liked ‘His damp stirs. Rips…’ such a change in pace – an almost violent shift in the poem as ‘he’ comes into focus. Great compression in these scant lines. Marvellous stuff.
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Thanks, Peter.
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Well written quadrille.
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Wow! what a great description of the way a virus creeps up on us. Wonderful images!. Love the old barn. Nice touch!
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Oy … well written, but oy …
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Felt like a prologue of a murder mystery novel!
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Mysterious!!
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This is absolutely gorgeous. From the barn door open and the birds singing, all the mystery swirling smoothly until the reveal “I felt old enough. I’d just turned twenty.” It’s tantalizing!
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I like the sudden shift in emotions and imagery. There’s a mystery and intensity on what’s coming.
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The emotions sure stirred, an auspicious invitation, just old enough!
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Wow. Things that go bump in the night …..
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I’m VERY late to the reading…that seems to be happening to me more and more? But perhaps, because of that….this poem hits me even more. We left on January 8th from Boston for our 2 + months in San Diego…to escape Boston’s winter. And at that time…..the virus was in China only….not too much of a threat as we always say, it can never happen here. We returned on Wednesday to a different world…and then the world exploded even more over the weekend…..this virus we have now across the globe may have begun like a soft fog, creeping in (is it Sandburg who compared the fog to a cat padding in???) but it now is a tsunami in Italy, Spain, and “coming to a theater near you” —- Sadly we know what happens with this virus now. You wrote a fiction here….and since you wrote it, it has become truth. WOW!
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“born out of smooth fog” – great line, Misk!
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