Miz Quickly’s Day 31: Sonnet #1

Sonnet #1

we called the drought rain,
and it drummed a small thunder.
the ground stained
naked as night, a dismal

and withering drizzle.
but we danced,
and we drank,
falling about and blowing

at clouds, spilling air
on mud-entranced faces,
and our eyes stared
at the sky

as we buried it all
with a sip of magic.

 

 

for Miz Quickly’s Day 31: Go back to something you wrote during week 1. Rewrite it into the form of a sonnet. This piece is rewritten from Miz Quickly’s Day 5: “Limitations” prompt. The original may be read here

8 responses to “Miz Quickly’s Day 31: Sonnet #1”

  1. I like your revision better as a sonnet

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    1. Really. Interesting. May I ask why?

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  2. I like the found poetry and admire what you did with it, but it feels disjointed and, maybe dreamlike. The sonnet reads more cohesively, to me at least, it has a fluidity of thought that is easy to follow. But, I’m one of those “I don’t know anything about art but I know what I like.” : )

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    1. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind when I tittle about with found pieces in the future. I’ll aim for more connected thought. And like you, I can recognise what feels right or not, so appreciate your comment. xx

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      1. You’re welcome. “But don’t go changing just to please me” Billy Joel

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  3. There is a curative magic to rain after a drought.
    The smell of the earth is wonderful.

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    1. True. And that scent is called petrichor.

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  4. what form is your sonnet in? it looks simpler than the norm

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Your comments are always welcome