A Meter for dVerse

A Morning Walk on West Pier

We walked the pier, that early day,
Young boys with lines that begged for fish.
We watched the pier splitting waves,
Fair dawn so bright and dewy wide.
To float a while on morning mists,
Its gentle sighs and rippled swell,
If just to lift its jealous veil.

 
 

for dVerse: Iambic Tetrameter

23 responses to “A Meter for dVerse”

  1. Nicely done meter with a sense of serene reminiscence, nostalgia. Much enjoyed.

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    1. Thank you, Victoria. I found this prompt a fun challenge. 😀

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  2. Love the bouts of nostalgia in your verse 🙂
    Beautifully done.

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  3. Marilyn, I’m awed! (and that’s not easy!) What I like most about it is everything between We… and …veil! The meter is perfection!

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    1. You’ve made me quite happy! Thank you!

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  4. So happy to take this walk with you. When I was a very young girl, my dad would take me fishing off the Waukegan, Illinois, Lake Michigan pier. We’d be out ther so so early in the morning….just bamboo fishing poles, nothing fancy. The idea of the pier splitting waves — yes — as it just out into the lake. Nostalgia here — thanks for taking me back there. Smiling I am thinking of my dad. I miss him.

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    1. A very good morning to you, Lillian.

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  5. Love reading this out loud. I enjoyed the lovely early walk.

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    1. I don’t often read poems out loud. I must do that more often. Thank you!

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  6. There’s so much that was illustrated in this superb, short piece. I really enjoyed this.

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    1. I have to admit that meter is not one of my strong points. I struggle with it.

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  7. Your meter feels as natural as breathing. Lovely walk.

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    1. Thank you, Viv. I’m glad you liked it.

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  8. To float a while on morning mists,
    Its gentle sighs and rippled swell

    If anything else, a misty morning walk can be most exhilarating!

    Hank

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  9. A snapshot of nostalgia, which leaves me wanting more.

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    1. Thanks, but it was last week, so not so long ago. 🙂

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  10. I so enjoyed this read, the way you painted the scene like a postcard, but also how you managed to make the meter be unobtrusive and not too bounce…

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    1. Oh that awful bounce! 😀

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  11. You used the meter perfectly and coupled that with the words to create such a beautiful experience! I grew up with piers on Lake Michigan and this took me there – thank you!

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  12. Misky, I wouldn’t know Iambic Tetrameter if it flew right out of the sky (I can just picture it doing so) and bit me on the nose. What I do know is I LOVE the lulling, lilting quality of this, the way it flows like waves. The way my ear can hear it, even without reading it aloud. The way it puts me right on that pier, hoping for fish, sighing and swelling myself.

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  13. What a lovely feel of the swelling sea.

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  14. This wsas most enjoyable – like a walk on that pier! And the nostalgia – wonderful

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Your comments are always welcome